Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse.
~Deuteronomy 11:26
There’s something about the night that elevates my anxiety. There was a time I would gaze up at the moon in all of its splendid glory and feel a great sense of peace. Millions of stars dancing in the sky and me without air. Nice try Van Gogh, but not even close. This is the hand of God. He who made dark, light. How can something as enchanting as this, now be my greatest fear? I am reminded of the moment when the sun left, my moon came, and he was there. Just the flashback of his unwanted touch uncover memories that I had worked so hard to hide beneath overeating, depression, self-harm, and promiscuity. There I was afraid and confused. A child trying to make sense of what and why this was happening? I’d worked so hard to fade into the background yet, he always found me. I remember begging the light to come, and it did. A momentary feeling of relief because he was gone, but not the shame. As time carried on, morning highlighted the hurt that night would only bring again. Night became the gift and curse. It’s just at the age of 35 that I have finally decided to confront the night. I would no longer allow the molestation that I endured paint me with shame. My faith in God allows Him to destroy the darkest parts of me because he gave me that choice. We all have a choice. Today, I choose the path of Christ because I know that my Father will make my fears my stepping stool. Today, I see night as a source which brings light that will allow me to see in darkness. Today, I see each morning as a chance to live again. Each day, a new day to make right all that was made wrong. I am not defined by my curse because underneath it was a blessing.
-Is there something in your life that you feel is a curse? Take whatever that may be and find three reasons why one would see it as a blessing. Praise and perspective go hand and hand. When one decides to give God praise through their storm, they have decided to look at their situation from a spiritual perspective. Go to Him in prayer and ask Him to sit in your perspective. Where the spirit of God dwells grows hope, joy, and peace.
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